Monday, August 25, 2014

Struck Dowb Id Da Pribe Ub Libe

Help I am dying and
my grown-out bangs
look really awkward.
I started out my weekend with expectations of rest and relaxation, hoping for lots of photos of me frolicking in the grass with leaves and flowers.

Instead I got the flu. Since I couldn't even get out of bed I binge watched Too Cute on Netflix while sleeping because I'm a multitasker, and was told by my husband that my hair looked amazing after I washed it and let it dry while passed out cold in bed. Apparently the hair on the left is considered amazing hair. I'm not convinced.

As I was convinced death was around the corner, I realized this was the perfect time to watch horror movies. So I watched Carrie which distracted me enough from my flu that I guess my fever broke.  

These were my thoughts while watching Carrie:

1. Why is there so much nudity in the locker room? Seriously, most locker rooms people stay clothed and then undress in the shower.

2. Oh my goodness, I have a sister-in-law named Kari and her maiden name is White. What in the actual fuck?

3. Oh boo-hoo, I have to work out every day or I can't go to prom. These days those drills would be considered Prom Bootcamp so those bitches could fit into their little cotillion dresses. 

4. Sissy Spacek could use some mascara and eyeliner. The whole blonde eyelashes thing is scarier than the movie itself.

5. Matilda totally ripped off Carrie.  Both are abused girls with teacher mentors who have telekinesis and end up getting revenge on their tormentors. 

6. It had to be pigs blood.  They couldn't just go with red paint or something that did not mean slaughtering a pig?

7. I could go all day without seeing anyone unconvincingly suck off John Travolta.

8. It really seemed like they were trying to imply that the gym teacher was a lesbian a little bit.

9. Instead of trying to make Carrie feel included by giving her a pity date to the prom, why not, I don't know, try to be her actual friend before she gets molested by her gym teacher?

10. This cinematographer really liked fire, because in the book the deaths were more blood related and not fire related. 

My husband went to the store to get some things and he came back with all of the wrong things.

For example? I asked for Lysol Disinfectant Spray?  He got the shower tile stuff.

I didn't have the energy to argue, so I just went with it.

Meanwhile I have very few real friends because only my real friends helped me in my darkest hour, and that was when I needed a key to get to the next world in Pet Rescue Saga, and one of those was my husband.  The other two were Rachel and Joey, and Rachel lives really far away. And my husband didn't do it until Sunday night after I begged all of my friends several times. Not really feeling the love.

I like link-ups though and I will link up with my friend Ember Grey again who thinks the VMA's are slutty. Hey someone had to say it! I AM GRATEFUL FOR YOUR RANDOM UNPOPULAR OPINIONS EMBER GREY WHETHER I DISAGREE OR NOT.

Grateful Heart Linkup w/ Ember Grey

So here's what I am grateful for:
1. Macaroni and Cheese ... or really Rotini and cheese because elbow macaroni is such a waste.

2. My husband who puts up with me and thinks I'm gorgeous at odd times.


4. That my flu was only temporary and did not happen during my upcoming weekend at Ocean City or on a work day since I'm low on sick leave.

5. Cats.

Go link up.  I'll be here, buried under a mountain of work and wishing my coworker would chew with her mouth closed. 

No comments:

Post a Comment