When I checked websites for local chorales this weekend, my pulse quickened and a feeling a true dread inked its way through my blood. I closed my laptop and told myself I would not do it, that it was not what I wanted when the truth was it was desperately what I wanted.
Hello, adrenaline. How can I make friends with you to turn you into motivation to conquer these fears?
I am afraid to be disappointed and to make serious wishes. This is the first one I have taken seriously before. Usually when I end up wishing I do it begrudgingly and for something totally ridiculous and unattainable like this:
|I'm the realest.|
And if I get my wish I become overwhelmed and full of anxiety. I think of all the things that could go wrong and it feels like all the wrong things are already happening to me instead of all the right things.
So what I really wish for is courage. Courage not to fly away this time and to do the work and see this dream through to the end. Courage not to escape with excuses and jokes.
Joining yet another link up. That means two link ups worth of blog posts I'll get to read throughout this week. It's become a fun little way to play internet!