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Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Claiming My Space, Body Love, Having a Voice, And Protecting My Family

Tuesday.  My heart is weary still. I gear up to face the doubts in my head, the imperfections, the bad hair and the cat crap.I live my life in fear.  I live my life in fear of my dreams, in fear of rejection.

Well, no more.

I am here to claim my space. 

In a world full of others' opinions, I refuse to wear them, to live with them, to make them mine.

Here are the rules of claiming my space.

1. Body Love. I get to love my body in a world of people who might not love my body, in a world of people who feel the need to comment on my body.  I have to say this: my body is not yours to love. I get to look in the mirror, look in the camera, and say, "That is the girl who can run a 5K, the girl who enjoys both Cheetos and spinach (because fuck kale), both strawberry Pop Tarts and actual strawberries like any other normal human being."  And the zit on my nose and the break in my hair do not matter, because to quote Mary Lambert, "You are worth more."



2. My voice. I get to have a voice. It is time to start singing again.  I am on a search for a chorale who is looking for my talent. I am gearing up to learn about the audition process, fees, rehearsal schedules, costumes, the whole bit. Singing is why I am alive and I need to be part of a group of singers more than anything else.

3. Good People. I will not let people who hurt me or my friends back into my life out of memories of who they used to be. So if a person who insulted my husband and best friends tries to friend request me on Facebook after not speaking to me for more than two years without any other overture, that's not happening. It does not matter the person you were when we grew up with you, you're no longer welcome in our life without good reason. You know who you are.

Back to the singing! I do not know if you know this but singing is my life. I do not particularly know if my voice is what others are looking for, but I like singing. I do it daily and each time I am caught doing it by someone else I am complimented.

I used to tell myself that they were just saying that, the way you would tell someone who got a really bad haircut that their hair looks great and that it will grow back.

However didn't you hear me earlier? I get to have a voice regardless of others.

No matter how out of style it is, I will have my singing, dancing flashmob.  And it will be like the movies and everything I hoped for.


2 comments:

  1. I wanted to thank you for your commenting on my blog the other day! I wanted to respond to your feedback but it tells me you're a "no reply" blogger. Just wanted to give you a heads up :)
    Glad I found your space!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I have no idea what a no reply blogger is or how to change it but I get that a lot.

      Delete