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Friday, July 25, 2014

How To Stick To It When You "Just Don't Wanna!"

Sometimes I am my worst enemy.  In therapy lately we have been discussing how I often start wellness journeys that have little flexibility. Must walk 1 hour a day. Has to be 5am. Has to be walking. Has to be perfect. Have to have breakfast first.  No excuses.

I understand a little bit why I set those limits. I like to walk early as it is the best temperature. I like walking because it is something I can do. I want to do it daily because it is good for me.  I want to get an hour in because it will help me lose weight.

We all get that little part of us though that doesn't feel like it. "I don't feel like it" is a huge problem I've been having lately. Rather than prioritizing taking care of myself I have been going out to see friends.  Most nights this week I have not gotten home before 8pm and some nights past midnight. 

I think it is okay to take a holiday, as long as it is just a holiday and not forever.  What my therapist wants me to do, however, is to fit things in. Fifteen minutes of cleaning here, a half an hour walk there. And I can't seem to rid myself of this all-or-nothing narrow mindset I have.  If it's not an hour, "I don't feel like it" wins.

I Don't Feel Like It - Showdown at High Noon
When "I don't feel like it" wins, I do not win. It is no longer, "I skipped a workout for cuddle time with the cat" or "I had a wonderful evening out with friends." It is now feeling bad about myself. Failure, loser, overwhelmed. 

Me: Procrastination, we meet again! 

*cue western music*

Procrastination: You will not go for a 30 minute walk.  Who are you going to impress with a 30 minute walk?  That's not inspiring. You have to enjoy exercise to live a happy, healthy life!

Me: Actually it is. Who needs to be inspired by exercise? Just do the work. I am going to go on a very uninspiring walk just to spite you. 

Procrastination: Yeah, but then you will walk all slow while everyone walks by you and you will envy them and feel bad about myself.

Me: If I don't go for my walk, I will lose the hard work and progress I have made over the weeks and become weaker and feel even worse.

Procrastination: You can't just make yourself walk.  

Me: I may not be up to the challenge of a mindless, uninspired task of constantly having clean exercise clothes, knowing where my keys are, and properly packed nutrition ready at hand. But if it is 8:30pm, then I will take at least 15 minutes to make something easier for me to get this walk in every day, even if it's not perfect.

Procrastination and Me take off in opposite directions for 30 minutes. By the time one of us shoots, we misfire and accidentally hit Ted Nugent in the head, which makes no dent at all. 

Fin.

Anyway, here is something I found on Pinterest that made me very happy.


2 comments:

  1. YOU REFERENCED KHALIL!!! I like most of what he wrote. You might want to look up the five Tibetans :-)

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    1. I checked out that from the library when I was 23. I used to do them every morning but then I stopped. It was kinda neat.

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